Saturday, September 19, 2009

wrap me in Your arms

"God sure is loving you, Lady."
Tyler lovingly said to me last night
as we were eating a delicious dinner
that I didn't have to make.
~
Michael Gunger sings a song we sing in church sometimes:

There is a God who loves me
Who wraps me in His arms
that is the place where I'm changed
And that's where I belong

[Chorus]
Take me to that place Lord
To that secret place where
I can be with You
You can make me like You
Wrap me in Your arms
Wrap me in Your arms
Wrap me in your arms
~
When we sang this a couple weeks ago
I thought, "Oh, I want to be wrapped in His arms
but I don't even know what that feels like."
~
I want to be changed; I want to be more like God.
Or
at least
I want
to want to.
But rarely is change painless.
And that's the part I don't like so much.
~
The past few months have been a struggle for me
Shoot
the past few years have been a struggle.
I love my children tremendously
I wouldn't want to know a life without any of them.
When Lexi was such a pill our first (and second!) day of school,
I was consciously thankful for her - that we have her
even in all her crabbiness.
BUT
children don't make life easy....
And when they come 4 in just a little over 5 years
(and you've already got four...)
well
things can get a little tricksy.
And so I struggle
(the past couple of weeks, especially so)
far too often in my own strength, instead of His.
~
Looking back over several days, I can see
God has been using His people to wrap me in His arms
.
A phone visit with a very dear friend
who loves me enough to tell me hard things
.
a phone call from another friend - out of the blue
with the loan of exactly what I wanted
and she had no clue I wanted it
.
a refreshing visit with a sweet lady I don't know real well
.
yet another phone call with another dear friend
.
and finally
a friend I am not particularly close with anymore
(no real reason - we've just kinda grown apart over the years)
showed up at my house with dinner yesterday
because she wanted to surprise and bless me.
.
None of these ladies knew I was having a rough time.
None of them!
On top of that - being a homebody by nature, and a busy one, at that
I can go weeks
(yes, weeks!)
never talking to another soul - save the 10 in my immediate family.
So last night when Tyler said, "God is really loving you."

I realized
this
is what it feels like to be wrapped in His arms.
~
It's humbling, really.
which (hopefully) serves to bring me just a wee bit closer
to being 'more like You'

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